What He Says, What I Actually Hear. Topic: Move away with me.

It's been a busy week with the boy. I told him he's making my head spin.

RTG is in the military. He is currently inactive. But he's been periodically saying that he is considering going back to active duty.

To him it means one thing. To me it means. He has to go live somewhere else on a base. There are no army bases where we live.

This morning he says it again and I say, "Nooooooo, don't go away. What am I supposed to do then?"

He says, very casually, "Just come with me."



All I heard was, "I''m totally okay with us moving in together."



Hahaha, this one was a heart stopping moment when he said it. I was stunned for a second. I definitely don't even think he noticed but that one hit something inside me.

What He Says, What I Actually Hear. Topic: All Access

My boyfriend, RTG, lives in a house that he is renting to own. Since he's been living there, he doesn't have a key to the front door (nothing worth taking in the house...but still). I would've changed the locks the first night but anyway...

It's a little convenient for when he's out of town and such, he forgets things like: dishes in the sink, trash, etc. So it's nice to be able to pop by and make sure everything is how it should be.

This past weekend, he informed me that he finally got the key to the front door from the owner. So I said, "Crap, how am I going to be able to clean your house when you aren't home?"

He says, "I'll give you a key."

I heard, "I'll give you a key."

Yea. Shit just got real.

What He Says, What I Actually Hear. Topic: Adoption

Funny little story for today. It's a little graphic as far as my language about human anatomy...just going to throw that out right at the start. I'm not a very modest or even secretive person for that matter.

Brief back story: RTG (Really Tall Guy) has some kiddos. FOUR kiddos. One of which he has custody of. They're pretty adorably awesome little people. I love them (pretty sure they think I'm the bee's knees too).

So one afternoon last week we had some sex for no reason whatsoever except that it seemed like a good time. We were laying and talking after (I pretty much always make him converse with me after). At one point during, we were in a doggy-style position and got a little careless and I had a little scare (I've torn my skin down there before during drunken sex. Ever since that, I've been hyper-aware when I'm in the position about what's happening so that it NEVER happens again).

So while we were talking afterwards I explained why I freaked out and made him stop for a minute. So following up with that, I commented that it might be one of the reasons I think I might never want to have kids or why if I DO have kids, I will definitely be having a C-section birth. I don't want my vagina to rip, get cut, be stitched, or even be stretched for that matter. I want it to be exactly how it is forEVER (I know I'm delusional, but still).

His response to my rant: "Well you can always adopt."

All I heard: "You can just adopt mine."

What He Says, What I Actually Hear. Topic:Dating

So, its still pretty new. Been seeing RTG about a month now. We havebt really had any kind of talk about our status. All I know is, I REALLY like him and he REALLY likes me. I'm content.

But alas, I am a girl and my brain works in a hilarious way.

Last night in bed, we were joking around. I can't remember his exact wording, but he referred to us breaking up temporarily. And we joked a bit about make-up sex, blah blah blah.

The whole conversation all I heard was about us breaking up. Which means we're official enough to break up and I fell asleep wondering if this was a boyfriend.

What He Says...What I actually Hear. Topic: Meeting the kids.

Recently I met a guy that I've been spending a lot of time with. I don't know if he cares if I say his name on here or not so I'll refer to him with a nickname. Lets call him....Really Tall Guy.

So RTG has some baggage. Divorced with 4 kids. Meh, he's pretty awesome so we are disregarding that.

One of these children is, as of recently, living with him.


In a text conversation (I'll be editing his grammar and spelling mistakes in these quotes) he types:

"You do understand it will be a while before you meet the kids."




All I heard was, "We'll be together long enough and you'll be important enough to meet my kids."

New sub-blog: if that's what you would call it.

So I'm funny most of the time. I'll be sharing posts going forward taken straight out of my amazingly awesome life.

The posts will be titled: What He Says...What I Actually Hear.

This will be from exact things that are said to me. My cousin thinks it will be funny because I tend to say that I lot when telling her stories of my love-life.

So yea. Stayed tuned.

(Pop) Punk Rock Awesome

Since I'm back into blog-mode, I'm going to say a little about something I've been obsessing over for about the last 36 hours.



The Composure's new album: String Attached.

I met these guys (Cory and Paul front and center) back at the beginning of 2008. They were recording in Chicago and crashing at my best friend's place while they were in town. We had a tradition of going out on Tuesday nights and they joined us for the night. 10 Rootbeer Slammers later, Cory and I became friends.

Here we are almost 3 years later, friendship still strong, and they've just released their album. I feel like a crazed soccer mom with the way I've been bragging about this album. It's awesome. I won't just say that I love any friend's albums. Although, I may have immense respect for what they've created, I'm not always a fan of the tunes. However, these amazing dudes from Pittsburgh have created a gem.

I urge you to check out this powerful record with all of Paul's killer vocals. It's available on iTunes:

"Strings Attached" on iTunes

It's also probably available at both:

Modern Short Stories and
The Composure


You could also wait until they come back to town and play at Reggie's in February.


My favorite tracks include: On the Run; Stop Now, Start Again; and Oh, Haley.

Watch the video for "Stop Now, Start Again" on YouTube.

Eating out. (Not what you perverts are thinking.)

Read this article that Chad posted on Twitter.

From a server's point of view...

I don't understand how a person on their cell phone could bother you from another table. The only person who should be annoyed by this act is the person dining with the cell phone talker. Someone talking loudly to the person in front off them will be just as obnoxious. If you can't handle it. Order in.

Also, if you're on your phone and the rest of your table is ready to order, ask whoever it is that you are talking to to hold while you order. It's wasting the time I could be helping other tables to wait for your conversation to end.

Don't order a round of water for the other six people at the table. They can order it if they want it. I know damn well you will be the only one drinking it. I now have to bring 14 drinks to your table for no reason.

The wings at my restaurant don't come with side dipping sauces. There is am extra charge for them. It sucks and I don't agree with it, but it says so right where it lists the different wings. Pay attention when I'm asking if you would like bleu cheese or ranch on the side because it's time consuming for you to ask for it after the wings are in front of you. I'm asking for a reason.

Temper tantrums are no big deal. I get that kids act up. But, if your daughter is sitting next to you shaking all of the salt out into a pile on the table. Take it away from her. Tantrum or not. Have some respect for the bus boy that has to clean up after the child you can't say no to.

Please walk your dog in a bathrobe. I'd appreciate it.

These have been building up:

1. I have an issue with straight guys who cross their legs like chicks. Seriously, it's not uncomfortable for you? Who taught you idiots how to sit?

2. Why would you walk your dog down the street in your bathrobe with no pants under it? Honestly....you live in a condo, not a house with a fenced in yard. Have some consideration for your neighbors.

3. I hate when people are thankful that it's Saturday because Sunday means a fresh start. It's not a fresh start. Nothing changes except the date on the calendar. The same problems exisit that existed the whole week before. You're retarded.

That's all.

Happy B-Day...The "B" stands for "Blow Me"

...since you've all been missing my wit.

Starbucks has only ONE TIME, in the history of asking me, "Do you want room?" at the top of my coffee, actually given me enough room to put in the proper amount of cream. I give up. I will forever drink my coffee black. Grrrrr

In a mad room cleaning escapade, I discovered an old Vans (Steve Caballero to be exact) notebook with "Honesty Policy Greeting Cards" hand printed on the inside cover. On the pages following were numerous ideas for greeting cards from the 2 brilliant minds of Mr. Rob Campobasso myself.-----After reading them all, I’m convinced that this was a genius business idea and I’m seriously considering moving forward with the creative process. A sneak peak of what you’re in for:

GRADUATION:

Front: "Congraduation."
Inside: "Finally a greeting card as lame as you are."

GET WELL SOON:
Front: "Get better."

Inside: "Or not."

INVITATION:

"I really don’t want you to come, but I invited all of your friends
and I figure someone will mention it to you eventually and you’ll
show up anyway. So here..."

BIRTHDAY:
Front: "Happy B-day"
Inside: "The ’b’ stands for ’BLOW ME’ "

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE (originally thought of when I was frustrated with someone I worked with that seemed to keep following me from high school)

Front: Picture of a school bus with a face (headlights for eyes, grill for nose, fender for mouth, license plate for teeth), a smiling sun, happy animals, etc.
Inside: "I hope you get hit by a bus."

Stay tuned...

Snow Plow Drivers

I imagine that other than the crappy hours, it'd be pretty fun to be a snow plow driver....I would totally fuck with people because really....in a car fight, who's gonna win? Me.